Tag: senior golden

Penultimate – A Photo Essay

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 7 months after my emergency splenectomy procedure, my cancer has finally spread. I now have more bad than good days.

I was still happy to wake up every morning, and loved the attention everyone showered on me. But I was quickly losing interest in food,
and I could hardly find strength to stand on most days.

With the cancer metastasising to my lungs, I can no longer breath easy. And with that came disturbed sleep.
Whenever permitted, Belle was always near, keeping me company.

Although I was still alert and bright, my mummy felt that it was time to let me join my big sister Sugar.
I have not peed in 36 hours. She was very worried.

Mummy and Daddy kept coaxing me to stand and go relief myself, but I’m not able to, not even with their help.
And I refused to pee on my bed.
They were very sad to have to make the decision, but promised to be with me all the way.
For my last meal, Daddy went out to buy my favourite satay. I found the appetite to eat 8 sticks!
Grandma and Grandpa also came in the night to say goodbye.

My last morning at home, Daddy lifted me into my red wagon and pushed me around the house.
I was happy to get to go to all corners of the house again, especially my favourite corners.

I was so happy to be out of the house I wanted to jump out of the wagon. Daddy lifted me out and let me
walk by myself. Mummy hasn’t been out for so long she forgot where she parked her car. Silly mummy. 😆

Mummy drove us to a park nearby the house. Daddy carried me down but I was so raring to walk
and explore the place by myself. So happy to walk on grass!

I peed on the grass then waited for Daddy to clean me up like I’ve been trained to, for the past 11 years.

And then I pooped. Although I didn’t really have the strength in my legs to lift my butt too high,
but I managed to squat till I was done.

I wanted to walk some more on the glorious day but Daddy thinks I might want to eat some McNuggets.

Mummy drove us to McDonalds. I kept watching out for Daddy, who has gone to buy my favourite McNuggets from McDonalds.

Daddy took so long! I was so happy when I finally spotted him walking towards the car.
We sat in the car and daddy tried feeding me my favourite McNuggets but I was tired by then.
I didn’t want any food at all. I only wanted to lay down and rest my heavy head on Daddy’s thigh.
It was a solemn reminder that it was time for us to head to the vet’s for my appointment.

I wasn’t sure why we were at the vet’s but I trust Mummy and Daddy.
I know they love me very much and that they will always make decisions in my best interest.
Dr. Lee took the time to explain the procedure to Mummy and Daddy.
Mummy cried a lot, and both she and Daddy kissed me, hugged me and said their good-byes.
And Mummy hugged me tightly as Dr. Lee administered the injection that would relieve me of pain.

At 1230hrs on 11 Jan 2017, I breathed my last.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

We had to help Paris cross the rainbow bridge about 2.5 months back, but I just only found the courage to complete this post. It was probably the most difficult decision I’d ever had to make in my entire life, and I never stopped questioning my decision after making an appointment with the animal clinic to help her pass. I still question myself today. Some would say that we have waited far too long, while others would say that we should have waited a little more. No one really supported the decision I pushed for, not even my own family: their argument was that she was still alert, bright and curious. That it would be cruel to end her life.

In her final month, I was with Paris almost 24/7. How she has suffered, no one knows it better than I do. It became a habit for me to wake up every 2 hours in the night just to check on her. It pained me to hear her laborious breathing, knowing she can’t go to sleep because of it. I have asthma; I understand what it’s like having to breath hard. And unlike her, I have medication to help me breathe better. I cannot even begin to imagine how bad it must have been for her.

Paris is now over the rainbow bridge, painless and running her heart out with her big sister who left us some years back.

Go run free, my sweetheart. I hope you are reunited with your favourite jiejie and having loads of fun with her. We will meet again. Mummy and Daddy love you so much. Always, and forever.

Hort Park, the Gardeners’ Paradise

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Ahead of Paris hitting a major milestone (6 months post-splenectomy!) we had set aside a couple of days to bring her out for some fun in a new park. December is monsoon season in Singapore, and the weather has been largely erratic and wet, so I was not optimistic we were going to be able to head out on our first reserved day. Even the weather forecast wasn’t on our side. Yet when I woke up early in the morning, I saw that the sky was blue. Blue! The mister reminded me about the weather forecast (of thunderstorms) but I decided to ignore it, opting to rely on my gut feeling which told me it would be a good day.

Resigned, he dragged his tired body to the bathroom to prepare for the outing. The girls were so elated as I prepared the usual outing stuff i.e. water and bowl they couldn’t stop skipping around the house.

It was our very first time to Hort Park, a relatively new 9-heactare park that is part of the Southern Ridges –  we didn’t know what to expect. To our pleasant surprise, it was quite secluded with few people about. Great, it meant that while still holding on to their leashes, we didn’t have to watch the two girls too closely as they took their time to sniff about.

Then we came about a gazebo. How could I let up the chance to make them pose in front of it? Paris chose to be uncooperative right from the start of the walk, refusing to sit when I asked her to. Maybe she isn’t felling very well… so I let her be and made the best out of the situation. Decent shots, still.

There are numerous ‘gardens’ with the park: Therapeutic Garden, Silver Garden, Golden Garden… to name a few. I’m not into gardening; Hort Park to me is like any other parks in Singapore, meant for walking the dogs hence taking notice of what the different gardens area about wasn’t in my agenda this morning. I do recognise, however, that we ventured into an area with numerous pots of orchids. The girls sat prettily on the stairs while I quickly took some pictures of them.

Paris refused to budge once she laid down on the stair. Didn’t even move an inch when I placed Belle in front of her – you could actually see that Belle didn’t have enough space to sit properly; she had to place her front paws on a lower step. All these signs are telling me that while Paris looks very pleased to be out and about, her physical being isn’t very much able to keep up with her enthusiasm. Sombre reminder of the new lumps detected in her liver during her last vet visit last week. 😦

Got to the playground meant for young children and they immediately went into the play house for the shade.

Then we came by this miniature version of the dragon playground that featured very prominently in my childhood. And now, it’s a fast disappearing feature in our land-strapped country. Just had to make them sit in front of it. Heh.

We came to this wooden plank platform meant for sitting and resting, I reckon. There was no one around so it was great opportunity for some pictures. I managed to get Belle up but tried as I might, Paris refused to jump up. We’ve learnt to watch her cues closely, and I deduced that she must not be feeling well enough to do the jump. Did not insist then. And that was how cheerful Belle’s very pretty solo picture came to be.

All the way into Hort Park where the Vineyard restaurant is located, we saw a large tiered field. The whole morning, the two girls were at loggerheads with me, refusing to sit and smile at me on cue. So I thought, ‘Hey, this is a good place to let them do their own stuff while I shoot them’.

Great idea, wasn’t it? Wrong. After I released the girls to go explore the area on their own, they stood at the exact same spots I left them at, and looked at me quizzically. Infuriating. 😆

It wasn’t too hot since there was still sufficient cloud cover and it was still early in the morning. Paris was in such a good mood. It made me happy seeing her big smile.

Came by the Golden Garden signage. It’s such a cheery signage I couldn’t help but make Paris pose in front of it. My version of a golden garden – a garden full of golden retrievers. 😀

As we were walking back to the main entrance of Hort Park, I saw another photo opportunity as we ambled up a slight slope. Made the girls sit for the last shot (before leaving the park for good) and this round, they were so nice to listen to our instructions. Except that Paris refused to face me. Oh well… this old girl is really starting to grow a stubborn streak. 😆

For her 7th month post-splenectomy, we are intending to bring them to a beach. Hoping the trip materialises.

Of Chinese and Japanese Gardens

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Towards the western end of Singapore lies two very beautiful parks that I’ve visited like, three times in my entire life. While Singapore is not considered large by any measure, I’ve always lived in the North/Northeast region with the exception of my 4 undergraduate years and the west does seem very far to travel to.

It just so happened that we found a fantastic home boarder for the girls a couple of years back, and the sweet couple S & D with their golden retriever Kobey reside in the west. They had been requesting to visit Paris ever since news of her cancer diagnosis broke. I didn’t think it nice to ask that they travel all the way to our house just to visit her since she was doing quite well. And so, I proposed to meet them at Chinese Garden. It was a struggle; I wanted to bring both Paris and Belle out together, but the mister put his foot down on this matter. He claimed that I would not be able to take care of both girls while still trying to catch Pokemon monsters (was a little crazy over Pokemon GO at that time). Which wasn’t entirely untrue. 😛

Chinese Garden is over 40 years old, and was modelled after Northern Chinese Imperial style of architecture and landscape. Entrance was free-of-charge and we were immediately greeted with the signature red doors typical of such architecture the moment we walked through the tri-archway entrance.

Paris was in a good mood, being out with me alone and all (i.e. without her pesky younger sibling) and obliged when I frequently made her sit to let me take a few pictures. And what is a visit to the Chinese Garden without posing in front of the Twin Pagoda, a landmark synonymous with the park itself. Although it was in the late afternoon, the sun was still shining mercilessly and I noted that Paris was fast heating up. Her smiles were waning by the second, setting alarm bells in my head. It was time to quickly locate a water point (plentiful within the park, but just have to locate them) and retire to a shady spot while waiting for S & D to join us.

Clearly Paris found her zen spot and started meditating. 😆 She was on her best behaviour that afternoon, which made handling her a piece of cake. That was until she spotted her favourite boarders – she disobeyed my instructions and ran towards them, unleashed. Thank heavens it was a short distance and that she didn’t scare any other park-goers in the process. For those of you who do not live in Singapore, my worry may seem needless but you see… Singapore is made up of people of several races and religion and dogs are not always welcomed. Even ultra-friendly ones like golden retrievers.

S & D and their golden Kobey were too, clearly happy to have finally met Paris since her surgery. Like everyone else who has seen Paris, they commented that she didn’t look like she has cancer. That works like a double-edged sword, I reckon, about Paris looking all normal. On one hand we kinda stop treating her like a fragile porcelain vase and let her live her life rambunctiously like she always does, yet on the other hand, we tend to forget and think that she is normal when she isn’t. Case in point, I recently felt lumps on her tummy and was very alarmed, wanting to send her in for a checkup immediately. The mister had to remind me that she is a cancer patient, regardless of well she appears to be on the outside. I have to repeatedly manage my own expectations.

Our target that afternoon was to walk the dogs and… catch Snorlax! At that time, I still had not caught one while S & D caught several in their home! As we were strolling across to Japanese Garden (it is linked to Chinese Garden but closes at 1730hrs while Chinese Garden closes much later, at 2300hrs), S & D’s friends together with their newly adopted shiba inu caught up with us. And thus, we started walking as a group of five plus three dogs. Attracted quite a bit of attention heh.

We were greeted with beautifully manicured bushes the moment we entered Japanese Garden, a strolling park modelled after the Muromachi and Momoyama periods of Japanese history. It is a beautiful park but we didn’t have much time to explore it because it was nearing closing time (about 30 minutes prior), and a park staff in his buggy had started driving round the park to vacate park-goers. According to S & D, he does this tirelessly every single day. Respect.

We’d spent several hours away from home by then and Paris seemed tired as she lagged further and further behind. Not wishing to over-tire her, I bade farewell to S & D and their friends. It was a long drive home with occasional traffic jam on the expressway. Fortunately Paris took the opportunity to take a nap and had regained most of her usual bounce by the time we got home. Or I would have gotten an earful again.