Category: Paris’ Miraculous Jaunts

Paris Shaula, our golden retriever, is diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer in early Jun 2016. She is given no more than 3 months to live. We want her to see more of Singapore before the inevitable arrives.

Penultimate – A Photo Essay

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 7 months after my emergency splenectomy procedure, my cancer has finally spread. I now have more bad than good days.

I was still happy to wake up every morning, and loved the attention everyone showered on me. But I was quickly losing interest in food,
and I could hardly find strength to stand on most days.

With the cancer metastasising to my lungs, I can no longer breath easy. And with that came disturbed sleep.
Whenever permitted, Belle was always near, keeping me company.

Although I was still alert and bright, my mummy felt that it was time to let me join my big sister Sugar.
I have not peed in 36 hours. She was very worried.

Mummy and Daddy kept coaxing me to stand and go relief myself, but I’m not able to, not even with their help.
And I refused to pee on my bed.
They were very sad to have to make the decision, but promised to be with me all the way.
For my last meal, Daddy went out to buy my favourite satay. I found the appetite to eat 8 sticks!
Grandma and Grandpa also came in the night to say goodbye.

My last morning at home, Daddy lifted me into my red wagon and pushed me around the house.
I was happy to get to go to all corners of the house again, especially my favourite corners.

I was so happy to be out of the house I wanted to jump out of the wagon. Daddy lifted me out and let me
walk by myself. Mummy hasn’t been out for so long she forgot where she parked her car. Silly mummy. ๐Ÿ˜†

Mummy drove us to a park nearby the house. Daddy carried me down but I was so raring to walk
and explore the place by myself. So happy to walk on grass!

I peed on the grass then waited for Daddy to clean me up like I’ve been trained to, for the past 11 years.

And then I pooped. Although I didn’t really have the strength in my legs to lift my butt too high,
but I managed to squat till I was done.

I wanted to walk some more on the glorious day but Daddy thinks I might want to eat some McNuggets.

Mummy drove us to McDonalds. I kept watching out for Daddy, who has gone to buy my favourite McNuggets from McDonalds.

Daddy took so long! I was so happy when I finally spotted him walking towards the car.
We sat in the car and daddy tried feeding me my favourite McNuggets but I was tired by then.
I didn’t want any food at all. I only wanted to lay down and rest my heavy head on Daddy’s thigh.
It was a solemn reminder that it was time for us to head to the vet’s for my appointment.

I wasn’t sure why we were at the vet’s but I trust Mummy and Daddy.
I know they love me very much and that they will always make decisions in my best interest.
Dr. Lee took the time to explain the procedure to Mummy and Daddy.
Mummy cried a lot, and both she and Daddy kissed me, hugged me and said their good-byes.
And Mummy hugged me tightly as Dr. Lee administered the injection that would relieve me of pain.

At 1230hrs on 11 Jan 2017, I breathed my last.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

We had to help Paris cross the rainbow bridge about 2.5 months back, but I just only found the courage to complete this post. It was probably the most difficult decision I’d ever had to make in my entire life, and I never stopped questioning my decision after making an appointment with the animal clinic to help her pass. I still question myself today. Some would say that we have waited far too long, while others would say that we should have waited a little more. No one really supported the decision I pushed for, not even my own family: their argument was that she was still alert, bright and curious. That it would be cruel to end her life.

In her final month, I was with Paris almost 24/7. How she has suffered, no one knows it better than I do. It became a habit for me to wake up every 2 hours in the night just to check on her. It pained me to hear her laborious breathing, knowing she can’t go to sleep because of it. I have asthma; I understand what it’s like having to breath hard. And unlike her, I have medication to help me breathe better. I cannot even begin to imagine how bad it must have been for her.

Paris is now over the rainbow bridge, painless and running her heart out with her big sister who left us some years back.

Go run free, my sweetheart. I hope you are reunited with yourย favourite jiejie and having loads of fun with her. We will meet again. Mummy and Daddy love you so much. Always, and forever.

Hort Park, the Gardeners’ Paradise

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Ahead of Paris hitting a major milestone (6 months post-splenectomy!) we had set aside a couple of days to bring her out for some fun in a new park. December is monsoon season in Singapore, and the weather has been largely erratic and wet, so I was not optimistic we were going to be able to head out on our first reserved day. Even the weather forecast wasn’t on our side. Yet when I woke up early in the morning, I saw that the sky was blue. Blue! The mister reminded me about the weather forecast (of thunderstorms) but I decided to ignore it, opting to rely on my gut feeling which told me it would be a good day.

Resigned, he dragged his tired body to the bathroom to prepare for the outing. The girls were so elated as I prepared the usual outing stuff i.e. water and bowl they couldn’t stop skipping around the house.

It was our very first time to Hort Park, a relatively new 9-heactare park that is part of the Southern Ridges –  we didn’t know what to expect. To our pleasant surprise, it was quite secluded with few people about. Great, it meant that while still holding on to their leashes, we didn’t have to watch the two girls too closely as they took their time to sniff about.

Then we came about a gazebo. How could I let up the chance to make them pose in front of it? Paris chose to be uncooperative right from the start of the walk, refusing to sit when I asked her to. Maybe she isn’t felling very well… so I let her be and made the best out of the situation. Decent shots, still.

There are numerous ‘gardens’ with the park: Therapeutic Garden, Silver Garden, Golden Garden… to name a few. I’m not into gardening; Hort Park to me is like any other parks in Singapore, meant for walking the dogs hence taking notice of what the different gardens area about wasn’t in my agenda this morning. I do recognise, however, that we ventured into an area with numerous pots of orchids. The girls sat prettily on the stairs while I quickly took some pictures of them.

Paris refused to budge once she laid down on the stair. Didn’t even move an inch when I placed Belle in front of her – you could actually see that Belle didn’t have enough space to sit properly; she had to place her front paws on a lower step. All these signs are telling me that while Paris looks very pleased to be out and about, her physical being isn’t very much able to keep up with her enthusiasm. Sombre reminder of the new lumps detected in her liver during her last vet visit last week. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

Got to the playground meant for young children and they immediately went into the play house for the shade.

Then we came by this miniature version of the dragon playground that featured very prominently in my childhood. And now, it’s a fast disappearing feature in our land-strapped country. Just had to make them sit in front of it. Heh.

We came to this wooden plank platform meant for sitting and resting, I reckon. There was no one around so it was great opportunity for some pictures. I managed to get Belle up but tried as I might, Paris refused to jump up. We’ve learnt to watch her cues closely, and I deduced that she must not be feeling well enough to do the jump. Did not insist then. And that was how cheerful Belle’s very pretty solo picture came to be.

All the way into Hort Park where the Vineyard restaurant is located, we saw a large tiered field. The whole morning, the two girls were at loggerheads with me, refusing to sit and smile at me on cue. So I thought, ‘Hey, this is a good place to let them do their own stuff while I shoot them’.

Great idea, wasn’t it? Wrong. After I released the girls to go explore the area on their own, they stood at the exact same spots I left them at, and looked at me quizzically. Infuriating. ๐Ÿ˜†

It wasn’t too hot since there was still sufficient cloud cover and it was still early in the morning. Paris was in such a good mood. It made me happy seeing her big smile.

Came by the Golden Garden signage. It’s such a cheery signage I couldn’t help but make Paris pose in front of it. My version of a golden garden – a garden full of golden retrievers. ๐Ÿ˜€

As we were walking back to the main entrance of Hort Park, I saw another photo opportunity as we ambled up a slight slope. Made the girls sit for the last shot (before leaving the park for good) and this round, they were so nice to listen to our instructions. Except that Paris refused to face me. Oh well… this old girl is really starting to grow a stubborn streak. ๐Ÿ˜†

For her 7th month post-splenectomy, we are intending to bring them to a beach. Hoping the trip materialises.

Of Chinese and Japanese Gardens

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Towards the western end of Singapore lies two very beautiful parks that I’ve visited like, three times in my entire life. While Singapore is not considered large by any measure, I’ve always lived in the North/Northeast region with the exception of my 4 undergraduate years and the west does seem very far to travel to.

It just so happened that we found a fantastic home boarder for the girls a couple of years back, and the sweet couple S & D with their golden retriever Kobey reside in the west. They had been requesting to visit Paris ever since news of her cancer diagnosis broke. I didn’t think it nice to ask that they travel all the way to our house just to visit her since she was doing quite well. And so, I proposed to meet them at Chinese Garden. It was a struggle; I wanted to bring both Paris and Belle out together, but the mister put his foot down on this matter. He claimed that I would not be able to take care of both girls while still trying to catch Pokemon monsters (was a little crazy over Pokemon GO at that time). Which wasn’t entirely untrue. ๐Ÿ˜›

Chinese Garden is over 40 years old, and was modelled after Northern Chinese Imperial style of architecture and landscape. Entrance was free-of-charge and we were immediately greeted with the signature red doors typical of such architecture the moment we walked through the tri-archway entrance.

Paris was in a good mood, being out with me alone and all (i.e. without her pesky younger sibling) and obliged when I frequently made her sit to let me take a few pictures. And what is a visit to the Chinese Garden without posing in front of the Twin Pagoda, a landmark synonymous with the park itself. Although it was in the late afternoon, the sun was still shining mercilessly and I noted that Paris was fast heating up. Her smiles were waning by the second, setting alarm bells in my head. It was time to quickly locate a water point (plentiful within the park, but just have to locate them) and retire to a shady spot while waiting for S & D to join us.

Clearly Paris found her zen spot and started meditating. ๐Ÿ˜† She was on her best behaviour that afternoon, which made handling her a piece of cake. That was until she spotted her favourite boarders – she disobeyed my instructions and ran towards them, unleashed. Thank heavens it was a short distance and that she didn’t scare any other park-goers in the process. For those of you who do not live in Singapore, my worry may seem needless but you see… Singapore is made up of people of several races and religion and dogs are not always welcomed. Even ultra-friendly ones like golden retrievers.

S & D and their golden Kobey were too, clearly happy to have finally met Paris since her surgery. Like everyone else who has seen Paris, they commented that she didn’t look like she has cancer. That works like a double-edged sword, I reckon, about Paris looking all normal. On one hand we kinda stop treating her like a fragile porcelain vase and let her live her life rambunctiously like she always does, yet on the other hand, we tend to forget and think that she is normal when she isn’t. Case in point, I recently felt lumps on her tummy and was very alarmed, wanting to send her in for a checkup immediately. The mister had to remind me that she is a cancer patient, regardless of well she appears to be on the outside. I have to repeatedly manage my own expectations.

Our target that afternoon was to walk the dogs and… catch Snorlax! At that time, I still had not caught one while S & D caught several in their home! As we were strolling across to Japanese Garden (it is linked to Chinese Garden but closes at 1730hrs while Chinese Garden closes much later, at 2300hrs), S & D’s friends together with their newly adopted shiba inu caught up with us. And thus, we started walking as a group of five plus three dogs. Attracted quite a bit of attention heh.

We were greeted with beautifully manicured bushes the moment we entered Japanese Garden, a strolling park modelled after the Muromachi and Momoyama periods of Japanese history. It is a beautiful park but we didn’t have much time to explore it because it was nearing closing time (about 30 minutes prior), and a park staff in his buggy had started driving round the park to vacate park-goers. According to S & D, he does this tirelessly every single day. Respect.

We’d spent several hours away from home by then and Paris seemed tired as she lagged further and further behind. Not wishing to over-tire her, I bade farewell to S & D and their friends. It was a long drive home with occasional traffic jam on the expressway. Fortunately Paris took the opportunity to take a nap and had regained most of her usual bounce by the time we got home. Or I would have gotten an earful again.

The Quintessential Beach Park

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Mention East Coast Park (ECP), the largest park and a beach park almost 15km long built entirely on reclaimed land located to the south-eastern part of Singapore, and it will trigger beautiful memories in many a Singaporean. Most of us would have gone cycling with friends, or spent nights with classmates at the chalets during our school holidays. It was our frequent haunt when the mister and I were dating, like it was for many couples. And recently, a congregation point for people playing Pokemon Go on the hunt for rare Pokemon monsters, I being one of them. ๐Ÿ˜†

With the mister taken off shift and clocking more regular hours meant that we can’t bring the girls out on weekday mornings as often as we would like to. I had, on two separate occasions, brought the girls out with me to ECP individually and walked them according to what their stamina allowed. Paris doesn’t tolerate long walks well nowadays, hence my walk with her was restricted to a small area around the food centre. She did a lot of sniffing around while I caught some Pokemon monsters.

And she felt adventurous enough to jump up to a narrow breakwater. It was a picture-perfect moment but I was also fearing that she might slip hence my tight grip on her leash while I photographed her. This old girl still possesses some of her taste for adventure yet! ๐Ÿ˜€

With Belle on a separate day, it was all about walking and walking to locate the elusive Pokemon monster. We covered so much ground walking to and fro I think she might have regretted her initial enthusiasm about coming out with me. But no matter how tired she was, she continued trudging along beside, sometimes ahead of me (she was determined to walk to the car haha!). We once had another golden retriever Sugar before we got Paris, and if Sugar was in the same position as Belle that day, she would have sat when she got tired and stubbornly refuse to budge. Belle’s willingness to continue along with me despite her tiredness may not seem much to someone else, yet having seen how Sugar had behaved, I have to say that Belle has a very sweet disposition and her main aim is always to please us. It isn’t very important at this point (with Belle being still young and healthy) but this is something we have to remember as she grows older because she will push herself very hard just to keep up with us.

We finally made it to Bedok Jetty, a fishing jetty where fishing is allowed. We didn’t walk the whole length of it since I didn’t want Belle to get too near the fishermen with their fresh catch, hooks, lines and what-nots. Not safe for an inquisitive dog, if you know what I mean. Belle was happy to pause for a photo break. And as always, a ready smile for me.

To complete this post on ECP, I made a third visit within 3 weeks, this time with both Paris and Belle and the mister in tow. While this series of posts is essentially about Paris and her adventures, I do try hard not to neglect Belle in the process. The girls were picture-perfect wearing head bows I newly sewn for them. It was a perfect day with good weather. And if you live in Singapore, you would know that good weather is hard to come by these days since we are now officially in ‘haze season’.

The girls were happy to be out together with us, but I really don’t enjoy walking the girls together (even if the mister and I were each holding on to one); the girls are really competitive and they cannot stand seeing the other one being ahead. So they end up pulling their leashes. Argh.

Despite waking up and leaving home really early, the sun was still too blazing hot for the girls to bear. I had a picture in mind when I brought them to this bench at Bedok Jetty but they obviously have other ideas. They refused to sit on the stone bench (which was still cool, I checked), ending in two entirely poses. Hence this hilarious shot.

Then Belle decided she liked the shade better too, like Paris. These girls are just… such jokers. ๐Ÿ˜†

One last parting shot at the Bedok Jetty and we headed back to the car. Along the way, we came by many picturesque spots. Really spoilt for choices but I hastily chose one relatively shady spot since the girls were becoming uncooperative.

And our last stop was at the large field just by the carpark. It was rare to see the field empty; usually during the weekends there would be at least one soccer game going on. With much difficulty, the mister and I finally got the girls to settle down just long enough for some shots. Then they decided they have had enough. Yup, they simply stood up and walked away. My sassy furkids.  Haiz…

While processing this set of photos, I’ve encountered considerable difficulty in trying to balance between under and over-exposing the pictures. Very difficult because Paris now has a white face, and that Belle is also starting to grey. We shall have to try leaving home even earlier for our next excursion so that the girls can enjoy themselves a little more before they get frustrated with the heat, and for another selfish reason – easier for me to process the pictures.

Alright! Time to send them off for grooming!

Singapore’s 1st UNESCO Heritage Site

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In 2015, Singapore’s very own Botanic Gardens was inscribed as a UNESCO World Heritage Site. I remember beaming with pride as I read the news because I have such fond memories of the colossal Gardens as a child. It was always a treat when my parents brought us there occasionally. And in recent years, I too enjoy bringing the dogs out to the Gardens for walks. It’s a very large garden (by Singapore’s standard), occupying 82-hectares of land located at the fringe of Singapore’s shopping Street – Orchard Road. And due to its recent elevation in status, more tourists have been visiting the garden. We acutely felt it when we brought the girls out there this weekend. A fortunate thing that our schedule worked out somehow and good weather was forecasted so we forged ahead, leaving home as early as 7.30am hence managing to avoid the crowd that started streaming in around 9am.

Considering Paris’ health condition at this point, we were not too ambitious about covering much ground at the Gardens. It was a simple enough strategy – to make it to the iconic landmark of the garden that is the Bandstand, and then to the Swan Lake. The bandstand is clearly a favourite spot of the locals; when we arrived at gazebo erected in 1930 there were 3 different groups of people already absorbed in their various activities. Some indie filming was going on to the right, a group of ladies were practising yoga to the left, and a group of fresh graduates wearing their convocation gowns and mortarboards were taking commemorative photographs at the back. Well, it certainly isn’t hailed to be Singapore Botanic Gardens’ iconic landmark for nothing. ๐Ÿ™‚

The girls didn’t seem to want to remain on the grass patch (I suspect ants were biting them since I was also bitten) so I quickly snapped some pictures with a profile of the bandstand in the background and then brought them back up to the pavement while waiting for the group at the front of the bandstand to clear the area when they were done. Paris and Belle were much happier to oblige when we got them to sit on the pavement.

We didn’t have to wait long. By the time we had the front of the bandstand to ourselves, I have already got the girls prepped with hair bows. Most people who came across us couldn’t resist the urge to take picture of the girls because they looked so sweet! Inside, the girls were feeling anything but. They were hot, bothered and thirsty as it was exceedingly humid at the Gardens although it was still early in the day. We too, were perspiring profusely.

We found a bench nearby for the girls to take a rest while the mister walked back to the car to fetch their water bowl and bottled water. The girls took the opportunity to indulge in their favourite past-time – people watching. Since they were too tired to stray off, I wasn’t watching them too closely, allowing them to explore around the bench freely. Both decided that it was a good idea to nestle under the bench together. These girls… sometimes I simply cannot fathom what go through their minds. ๐Ÿ˜†

The mister loves the girls to the moon and back. And his love is reciprocated by both Paris and Belle, without a doubt. They see him as the Alpha of the pack and most of the time, only listen to his instructions. As I was making my way down to the centre of the grass patch (to allow the girls to do a sport of sprinting towards me), I turned back and saw a picture-perfect moment – all three of them were looking at me from the bench. I’m thinking of printing this into a large poster to hang on one of our walls at home.

After ample rest and water, we proceeded to the Swan Lake. Kind of an anticlimax because it wasn’t very picturesque. Perhaps the cloudy sky did a great disservice to its beauty. In any case, the girls were exhausted and we decided to call it a day there and then. Didn’t even get to meet up with our friends who wanted to see Paris since they were only coming much later.

As we were leaving, I commented to the mister about how nice it is that entering and visiting Singapore Botanic Gardens doesn’t require any fee. We have visited parks and gardens overseas that collect an entrance fee. I hope it remains this way; the Gardens has become such an integral part of our lives.

This is Home, Truly

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And home is where the heart is.

Singapore has recently been plagued by weeks of unceasing wet weather. This, combined with Paris’ increasing lack of stamina and us letting the busyness of everyday life overwhelm us, meant that we have not been venturing out much with the girls. All it took was a little reminder (from a friend whose dog is losing the fight against the same cancer) that her life hangs by a thread to snap me back into reality. The very same afternoon, we were blessed with good weather. Without nary a hesitation, I brought Paris out round the neighbourhood to sniff the flowers.

Paris wasn’t interested in the flowers. ๐Ÿ˜† She preferred sniffing the grass, lamp-posts and watching children swim and play in the pool. I let her set the pace, and spent some minutes standing by her as she stood and watched all the activities. While I have intrinsic faith that she will not venture somewhere she isn’t allowed to if I unleash her, she was kept leashed for the benefit of our neighbours (a lot of whom have inexplicable fear of large dogs, even one as friendly-looking as Paris). The mister said this is exactly the reason why he likes to walk her late at night – he could unleash her while she walks around the estate sniffing at objects/structures that interests her. I, on the other hand, prefer not to give her walks close to her bedtime. This old girl needs her sleep.

The park connector was much better; less crowded so I could unleash her to let her walk at her own pace. She didn’t walk far at all, keeping within 50 metres of our estate while concentrating on sniffing every single tree she came across. As I watched her, I couldn’t help but feel a tinge of sadness. Age and cancer have taken such a toll on her health in the most obvious ways; other than the apparent weight loss, she has also lost her appetite for adventure, preferring to stick to the familiar.

Paris does not like to be photographed. Especially by me since she was my default subject when I was first introduced to DSLR almost a decade ago. I have to confess that I used to make her pose for a long time while I fiddled with the cameral controls, thus testing her patience so. Till today, she frequently refuses to smile (or stop smiling if she was) whenever she sees a camera pointed at her. On the two days I brought her out in the afternoon, she was clearly in a good mood, blessing me with some pictures of her smiling broadly. Dogs will be dogs – they just love the outdoors too much not to smile. ๐Ÿ™‚

And now, a parting shot of Paris taken at home, just to show that she is such a gorgeous golden retriever. She may not be born to champion parents unlike Belle, but Paris possesses a very sweet face. Don’t you agree?

We have another outing scheduled for the weekend. Hoping for good weather so that we don’t have to reschedule. If there is anything I learnt from other owners of dogs having the same cancer, it’s that this cancer hits hard with no symptoms and that we should cherish every extra day we get to spend with her.

Reservoir in the Heart of the City

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* While we love travelling, in particular to Europe and Japan, our beloved home country has much to offer too. This is the first of a series of posts we’re intending to share on this space to document our cancer-striken golden retriever’s adventures in Singapore the garden city as we countdown to her last days with gratitude.

It was a gorgeous day on my birthday, the day we both decided to take leave from work in order to bring our two golden retrievers out for a day of fun. This day was also perfect in many other ways: it was a weekday, and a non-school holiday! Singapore in general, is not dog-unfriendly. However, ignorance is still rampant so there are laws in place to address that (or vice-versa), for example dogs must be leashed at all times outdoors and certain strong breeds even have to be muzzled. I have golden retrievers, which are truly the epitome of friendly, yet we’ve had numerous strangers asking us why they were not being muzzled as required by the law when we walked them outside. This ignorance and many others, do get to us at times. We’ve resorted to bringing them out to places where we think there will not be people milling about. Which brings us back to this day. Given that it was truly a normal weekday, we had the Marina Barrage Grass Roof almost exclusively to ourselves.

But the weather was definitely too hot for a sit-down picnic that I had envisioned while packing all the necessities for one. What was I thinking! ๐Ÿ˜† While Paris and Belle were overjoyed to have the large grass patch to roam without a single care, they were also fast heating up. Good thing that we prepared sufficient chilled water for them.

The mister watched them closely, especially Paris now that she does not have a spleen (and has cancer) – it means that she will tire out a lot more easily but as a dog, she does not know to pace herself. I was behind camera lenses almost the whole time trying to capture the beautiful moments of our furkids having fun.

A lot of coaxing was involved to get them to finally settle down and sit for the mandatory shot with a panoramic view of Marina Bay and Singapore’s city landscape as the backdrop. They were not very keen to sit for long since they would much prefer to be sniffing around. I am so glad they at least cooperated for some good pictures.

After a short respite in the shade that involved some cake-eating on our part, we decided to bring the girls to Gardens by the Bay. Weather was still gorgeous, but since it was nearing noon, the sun was also upon us mercilessly. Despite that, Paris and Belle were nice enough to let me capture the above shot. Well… Paris obviously had ran out of patience and was in the process of standing up and moving away but Belle our little sweetheart was still sitting prettily till we released her.

We tried to stick to shady areas for the rest of our walk in Gardens by the Bay. It was very hot, yes, but the heat also ensured that the group of tourists who were sneakily taking selfies while trying to fit our dogs in their pictures left quickly as soon as they came. I’m really fine with strangers wanting to take pictures with our photogenic dogs but asking us for permission would be nice.

Towards the end of the trip, Paris was back to her uncooperative self where photo taking is concerned; she repeatedly refused to look into the camera no matter how we called out to her or coaxed. I think it was indication that she has had enough and we should call it a day, which we promptly did.

Paris was exhausted when we brought her home. We realised even the 3-hour short excursion tired her out. Good thing that she recovered soon, after a long nap in the air-conditioned room. Future outings, we have to keep it to less than 2 hours.